BLADDOW! Ep. 1: Wills, parenting, and being too fat for your clothes
And recording and, this is Christian.
Speaker 2:I'm recording on OBS.
Speaker 3:Oh, I just
Speaker 2:Emilio, I just peeked the way I think my gait is too high.
Speaker 4:Live from a second laptop. It's me.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And? Laz. And? And?
Speaker 1:Say it.
Speaker 4:And what?
Speaker 3:Bladow. Bladow. Bladow. Of course. Bladow.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah. Oh, good. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to blood out with Chico, Laz, and the butts. Chico.
Speaker 4:What's the last one?
Speaker 3:The butts. The the butt is the butt. Butt. Thanks for tuning in, caller. What song would you like to hear?
Speaker 3:That's what I Oh, god. Hello.
Speaker 1:Alright. Who's gonna do the, intro for this?
Speaker 2:Just did it. Yeah. Oh, that was it.
Speaker 4:That was the intro
Speaker 2:for sure.
Speaker 3:That was that was the one. Perfect.
Speaker 1:Okay. What do you guys who who wants to who who's going? Who's doing the thing?
Speaker 4:Who's doing the thing? I could do the thing.
Speaker 1:Do the thing. Lance goes first.
Speaker 4:Okay. The big thing
Speaker 1:that's What's on your mind? What's on
Speaker 4:your mind? My mind was the same thing as last time that was on my mind, but now from the other direction.
Speaker 1:The A spin
Speaker 3:on a throwback? The A big trip.
Speaker 1:I mean, long time listeners will recall.
Speaker 4:Yep. The trip to Saint Martin
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 4:Which I just got back from a few days ago. Mhmm. We were gone for a week, with the whole family and it was good. We all survived. And I think okay.
Speaker 4:So before I left, I had this thought, and I think have you guys ever had, like, issues flying? I think you have. Right, Christian? I think you've told me a terrible story of being in the air in Haiti.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes. Yes. And I'm happy to recount that if that would be valuable, but, yeah. Not a fan or have not historically been a fan, but I have habituated to it, I'll say.
Speaker 4:Okay. Yeah. So I guess I'll just, you know, I you know, we don't we haven't taken a lot of, like, huge family flights, especially, like, over the Atlantic Ocean and to another country. And, so I we just I just had this thought, you know, it's like the kind of thought that you we sometimes you sometimes have where it's like, okay, if something happens, something terrible, like, obviously that would be, you know, horrible and awful, but then there'd be, like, the second phase of horrible and awful of, like, I don't have any sort of, like, will or anything like that. Right?
Speaker 4:I don't have any of my passwords given to somebody. I don't have any of my like, it would just be, like, this sort of second rolling tragedy of, like, what happens to the house? What happens to all the, like, little things that I you know, just things that are, like, important that the family and friends would know nothing about. Right? So I was thinking about this before the trip, and I was just like, okay.
Speaker 4:Like, this is not gonna happen. I'm fine. We're all gonna be fine. But just that thought of, like, the what happens, you know, just in the worst case scenario. So I just I had this thought, and I kept meaning to do something like, okay.
Speaker 4:I should, like, at least, like, tell somebody what should happen in that case. Right? So I was thinking that, and then I did nothing about it. And then I mean, we're right
Speaker 1:here, Les.
Speaker 4:We are right here. Oh, not you guys. Never. No. No.
Speaker 4:So I on the flight, I was like, you know, we we're up in the air. I connect to the Wi Fi, and I was like, okay. Now is, I guess, the last chance to do this if I'm gonna do it. So I chose a A
Speaker 1:big timing.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I thought of a, so I, you know, emailed a a friend, a mutual friend. You guys know the person, and just kind of, like, said, like, basically, like, if something were to happen to me, like, you know, here's what I would hope, you know, etcetera, etcetera. I was like, this just to be clear, nothing's going like, nothing's wrong. I'm not, we're not in any, like, danger.
Speaker 4:We're not, like, doing this or something, you know, just like because it's a weird it must be a weird email to get. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:And, like, kind of heavy and all this kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:Also, if I were you, send that to 2 people
Speaker 3:just in case. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Just in case.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So, so I send it off and then, you know, we're getting close to Saint Martin and there's a lot of fog. And, like, we're up we're up way above the fog where we can look out and see, and it's like, oh, okay. It's pretty, like, cloudy down there. But we start going down and, like, captain's like, good news.
Speaker 4:We're we're coming in early. We're gonna be about 15 minutes early for our, you know, scheduled arrival and stuff like that. And so we get we you know, we're getting very close. We go down all the way in the fog, and we're about 3 minutes from landing. And all of a sudden, we just hear, like, and the plane just starts accelerating as fast as it possibly can go.
Speaker 3:Jesus. And we're
Speaker 4:still in the fog. We still got nothing. Like, there's we're both we're looking out the window and, like, you know, keeping we're not we're not really reacting because we don't want the kids to react but it's like the plane just like starts accelerating and then turning like banking wildly to the side and so it's just like and so we're like okay yeah I guess we're gonna I guess something else is happening and then like then we can feel ourselves like go back up again and this you know the captain at this point has just said like oh okay we're just and then the captain comes on he's like I'm sure you guys noticed, you know we're we decided there's, like, a little too low visibility, so we're we're gonna circle for yeah. While we're he he said, like, we're gonna circle for a little while. And then I, like, I was thinking like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 4:We'll probably, like, do a couple circles. And then he was like, you know, if we can't land in the next few hours, we're gonna fly to San Juan, and we're gonna try to land there. Oh, so we're just like, oh. Okay. And he's like, yeah.
Speaker 4:Of course. Yeah. And so we were just like, okay. Like, and then he's, you know, he said, like, yeah, we've got we've got lots of fuel. So, you know, we're not we're basically, like, we're not too worried about it.
Speaker 4:We're talking to the towers in New York to see when this this system is gonna move through. And so, you know, we're I'm like, okay. Whatever. We're just gonna circle here. So it had already been, like, you know, a 4 hour flight from New York or something like that.
Speaker 4:Mhmm. And then we we circled for another 2 hours. Oh. Just going, you know, like and you could and, you know, they have a map now on JetBlue, so you can see, like, the path you've taken. And we just kept going around in this, like we had this one, like it was like a almost like a rectangle, you know, it was like a long kind of like straight and then turn and then straight and then turn.
Speaker 4:And, and so we just kept doing it and, you know, sort of no idea what was going on. They didn't really talk anymore about it on the thing. And so anyway, finally gonna say. Yeah. So
Speaker 1:I'm not going to repeat myself.
Speaker 4:Yeah. And and we'd started. It was, like, you know, 5 PM or 4:30 or something when we were first gonna land, and then it so now it was, like, 6:30 or something, and it was completely dark. And so anyway, finally, we land, goes down. Everything is fine, but we land, and it's it's like a a torrential downpour.
Speaker 4:Oh, wow. And they said it had actually been way worse before we were there. At the airport, you know, it's the the airport was, like, destroyed in a hurricane a couple years years ago in hurricane Irma. So the their rivals area has never really been repaired. So it's just kinda you're just out in the open.
Speaker 4:It's not like, like, you land and then you go down the tarmac and you just walk through the airport. And so it was like pouring rain and we get there and, everything is like, all the lights are off and all the, like, stuff is closed. And I guess they had so we heard from, you know, Grace's dad who who picked us up. Like, they've they had never seen something like this happen. It was like he'd been talking to the staff.
Speaker 4:They'd never seen something like this happen. He said it was the worst rain he'd ever been in in his life. Oh my god. He's like he's like in his seventies. And, and so and, but so he was just kinda was, like, there waiting, and they had shut down the whole like, we were the last plane already at, like, 4:30 or whatever.
Speaker 4:Like, this was the last arrival for the day. So they had shut down the airport almost completely. He said, like, they closed the doors. He was just waiting outside. And, so the only thing that was open was customs so they could let people in.
Speaker 4:Wow. But anyway, we landed fine, but it was just this kind of, like I was, like, you know, when, like, like, I'm not a superstitious person, but when you do something that's kind of out of the ordinary, like, you know, email somebody and tell them, like, if something horrible happens, then do this. And then, like, you just, like, come across. You're like, I don't know. Like, I'm not a superstitious person, but is this some sort of, like, sign or something?
Speaker 4:Like, did I have some premonition? Like, what's going on here? So that's my that's my story of the beginning of the, Saint Martin trip, anyway.
Speaker 2:Holy crap.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 2:Well
Speaker 1:Yeah. I you know, I had, a a couple of sort of unpleasant experiences flying early on into my experience of flying. And, it definitely you know, like, I I get these little, just like hints of how I used to feel about flying every now and then, when I'm flying again. But I don't know. And I'm not superstitious either, but do you guys have ritualistic behavior in which you engage while flying?
Speaker 1:No. Because I do.
Speaker 3:Not a display list.
Speaker 1:Nothing. Not I'll I'll tell you mine. You neither, Laz?
Speaker 4:No. I don't think so. I think the most ritualistic thing is just sort of very intentional ignoring of what might be going on.
Speaker 1:Okay. Well, the thing that I do is and it's like a it it it's, it is not intentional at this point. It's just it's just a thing that happens now when I'm in the air. And I, imagine especially, you know, if there's any sort of turbulence at all. I imagine the plane sort of, radiating light, basically.
Speaker 1:And I might even close my eyes and and visualize this. And, do I believe that I'm keeping the plane afloat with my intention?
Speaker 3:Alright. So you guys So I do so I do that. Rhetorical.
Speaker 1:So I do that. And, then an unfortunately, a very creepy song comes to mind, and it's not like it's only because the song is called White Light. I believe that's the title of the song by, Gorillaz. You guys remember Gorillaz?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yep. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:And do you remember that song? No. It goes, white light. Do do do do do do. White light.
Speaker 1:Do do do do echo echo echo. It's like super creepy. And, it's just the one that comes to mind because I'm imagining white light and there's the song. And that is what happens to me when I am in the sky, and there's even a little bit of turbulence or when we're take lifting off or landing.
Speaker 3:Wow. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Is this something that you came to intentionally?
Speaker 1:When I was a kid or when I was not I mean, I didn't first fly a plane until I was maybe, like, 14. So still a kid. But when I was a kid, my dad told me that he would imagine the plane cover, you know, in in bright white light and, you know, when he was nervous about it or whatever. And so so it it it no longer has intention. It's just associated with, with the the experience of of flight for me.
Speaker 4:Yeah. And you must fly a lot. Right, Emilio? Is that true?
Speaker 2:Oh,
Speaker 4:And you you might too, Chris. Like, you guys both must fly kind of a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I I fly several times a year at this point, which is not a lot a lot, but it's a lot for me. Every time I get off a plane, I'm like, oh, this is the last time I have to fly for as long as I possibly can. I don't know about you, Emilio.
Speaker 2:I I've so I've had a yeah. So I don't fly as much anymore as I used to. I I used to I mean, I I tend to only travel back to the East Coast once a year and maybe take one other trip flying. But I don't know if you guys know, but, my wife is a pilot. Right.
Speaker 4:Yeah. That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 2:Pilot license for a small plane. So I've been in the air with her several times. Although, I don't really enjoy going up with her because not because I don't like flying with her, but it's a very small plane, and it's really uncomfortable.
Speaker 4:You're a very big person.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And and, actually, this is this is, becoming a trend for me. So my my we talked a little bit last time about how, you know, I got to travel a lot when I was younger. Right? Mhmm.
Speaker 2:So I've I've never felt nervous on planes. I've all I just it's been very normal for me. And then we used to travel, like, yeah, probably 2, 3 times a year on a plane ever since I was, I don't know, 4 or 5 years old. Bragging, totally. And, but I have become less and less comfortable with flying over the last few years.
Speaker 2:And it it's like it's just because it's so uncomfortable to sit in a plane for a long period of time. And as I've gotten older and I've got back pain and, like, whatever, like, the seats just are brutal for me, and I and I find myself just dreading the experience every time. And it's nothing to do with sort of turbulence or anything like that. It's just I sitting in this tiny can. I also I also am developing, like, sort of more claustrophobia as I get older.
Speaker 1:Really?
Speaker 2:Yeah. And something happened to my mom, actually, when she was, like, in her forties or fifties. And I'm I'm finding the same thing happening to me that I really get uncomfortable in tight spaces. I've had a couple, like, little panic attacks at times, like, in a tent once camping or, like, in the back of a car. And so that's where I my head is going these days when I'm in a plane, I'm like, oh god.
Speaker 2:I have to be in this tight confined space where I can barely move my legs for 5 hours, 7 hours, whatever the flight is. Right? And so I I just don't really enjoy flying these days at all. So I ended up but I started, like, even, like, pony up the money to buy bigger seats, which, it sucks, but it's, like, it's, like, it's worth it at this point.
Speaker 1:Is that like doing, like, business class? Or
Speaker 2:No. Just the, like, more room, which is just, like, they charge you 50 bucks.
Speaker 4:JetBlue. JetBlue. Even even all space, usually.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. They used
Speaker 2:to just let me sit in the exit row for free if no one was there, but now they wanna get money for those seats, which are crappy seats.
Speaker 1:They are crappy seats.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Oh, boo. Yeah. But I have I've yeah. I I was lucky as a kid to travel a lot and, like, never really have a fear of flying, I think, just because it was felt like such a normal thing to do.
Speaker 2:And so that maybe that's why I don't really have any sort of rituals or or anything like that either. It's like it's like going to the you know, taking the bus or whatever.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's wild, though, Liza, that that that that happened. It it reminds me of this, of this I don't know if we're are we allowed to talk about, like, comics like Louis CK who have been canceled?
Speaker 1:Yeah. I I think so. Just only disparagingly.
Speaker 2:Well, this idiot is c k.
Speaker 1:I'm remembering the bit that you're about to go into.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Do you know the bit, Christian?
Speaker 1:I think so. Yeah. Is that he has a bit about, Discomfort in flying?
Speaker 2:It's it's about, actually, it's about, so he it's a the bit is that he, how does it go? Like, I I mean, I don't wanna try to recreate it, but the short version is that he his the pilot comes on the intercom. They take off without enough fuel or something, And
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 2:They take off into a storm, and then they're circling the the airport in New York. They're circling, like, JFK, and the air traffic controllers are telling them that they can't land. And, eventually, the pilot is just like, we're out of fuel. We need to land. And, and so and so it goes right, and, you know, obviously, he survives.
Speaker 2:But I'll send you guys the bit. It's it's much funnier than I'm recounting it.
Speaker 1:I was thinking of a different airplane bit from Louis CK, but it's I don't know. Recounting comedy is is
Speaker 2:It's it's really not. This is really But, anyway,
Speaker 1:also, that what a jerk.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Right. What a piece of crap. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. What a crappy person.
Speaker 2:Well, Laz, when you said I have no will, I thought, like, you meant, like, no
Speaker 1:will to live or something.
Speaker 3:Oh, no. Terrible.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Like, when you're in a position I just figured whatever happens, happens.
Speaker 2:I can
Speaker 4:carry this right, honestly. Behind. Yeah. Well, that was before I got a chance to live the island life. Uh-huh.
Speaker 4:Uh-huh. You know, just, now that I've been there and kinda hung out and just sort of the kind of thing you people from the continent wouldn't really understand.
Speaker 3:Oh, Jesus.
Speaker 2:So when do you when
Speaker 3:do you
Speaker 4:go with
Speaker 2:the family?
Speaker 4:You know, we'll see what happens. But, no, it was a good trip, though. It was really nice.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'd like to have a conversation about wills. I don't know. Like, I because I think that this is something certainly that comes up for me. Emilio, do you have a will?
Speaker 2:No. I, Gladys made a will a few years ago, and I was supposed to do it as well. And in the interim, I wrote on a Post it note that all my things should go to Gladys. Post it noted it to her will.
Speaker 1:Nice. See, but So official.
Speaker 4:What happens in terrible plane accident where everyone goes down.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 4:That's the part that yeah. Because I I figured by by, you know, just by default, everything's gonna go to the right place if it's just me, you know? Yeah. So that's why I haven't really thought that much about it. Well, I do have a life insurance policy that I I specifically purchased myself, but that's sort of for the same purpose.
Speaker 4:You know, it's like that's pretty clear what's going to happen to that money,
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:In that case. But, yeah, I've I have I don't have a will of any kind besides, you know, besides that, the life insurance, like, which you have to fill out certain things, it's basically makes it feel like a will.
Speaker 1:Yeah. What's the, what's the term for that? The people who receive your stuff?
Speaker 3:Beneficiaries. Yeah. Beneficiaries. Yep. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:Do you have one?
Speaker 1:No. But, you know, so I have a relatively comprehensive sort of thing around beneficiaries because the army wants you to be very sort of on top of that. And so there is this, like, portal, where you fill out all sorts of things around pay and life insurance and, other types of stuff. But, you know, they also really want you to have a will in the army. Probably all military branches.
Speaker 1:And so you can actually because you have at least a slightly increased chance of dying compared to a lot of other people. Whether it's like if you're flying somewhere for a training or for, you know, a deployment or mobilization or something like that. Or if the training itself has a degree of danger, like when I got aeromedical psychology training. You know, they they put us up in helicopters and flies around, and people sometimes crash those things. It is pretty cool.
Speaker 2:That's not bad ass.
Speaker 1:But But, yeah. Well, I mean, it's a bad ass way to go, maybe?
Speaker 2:We have to have that conversation next, I suppose.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Right? And, you know, like, for mine, like, they did all sorts of fun things, like put us in a, a chamber where they can simulate, what is it? When they take away the oxygen, hypoxia.
Speaker 3:And
Speaker 4:This is, like, if you're up high or something?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Exactly. Like, they can simulate altitude. Yeah. So they can simulate both pressure and, oxygen levels.
Speaker 1:But, you know, they you do these sort of fairly dane not fairly, like, minorly dangerous things that could go wrong just in a training like that. Not to mention that, you know, we have to handle firearms and shoot rifles and stuff like that from time to time. But, so they really want you to have a will. And actually, like, you know, in the military, you have JAG, which is the military law. Right?
Speaker 1:Military lawyers and whatnot. And that's judge, advocate, general is what that stands for. And, those are lawyers who work for the military. And in fact, they offer free services for the creation of a will. And so I I reached out to them.
Speaker 1:I was like, I'd like to do this. And then they're like, fill out this form. And I'm like, because the form is like, I don't know this stuff or, yes. I do have those things, but, where do I even find the information on that? And it's like a whole thing.
Speaker 1:So I haven't done it yet, but I actually would really like to do it. Like, I have my dad. He's 70 3, and he I don't think really has a will either. And it's like, god. You know, you just have to I mean, he has nothing, basically, so it's fine.
Speaker 1:But, like, you know, I just kinda feel like you have to you have to be thoughtful about that. And and you really I you know, I've worked with enough therapy patients to know that when somebody doesn't put a will together and then they die, it really it really screws with all of their loved ones. I mean, it puts them in a really bad position, especially if they have things. So it's pretty bad.
Speaker 4:No. I think I think that's what it is is I see I mean, I've seen it happen just in in people family members, and like people that I know. I don't know if I know have, like, anybody who had a real will except maybe like my my grandmother, but but some of the negative outcomes of that. And it's always just like, it always hits people at the worst possible time, and, like, they have to deal with stuff just like that, just like that paperwork where, like, that's annoying for you to do, but, like, imagine if someone else had to do that while grieve like, it's just like, yeah, like, I I think it's a good case for a will, and I just I don't know. I still haven't done one, but I do, like, I feel very, like, adamant that I would never want to, like, leave people trying to figure out this stuff at the, like, a really awful time in general.
Speaker 4:So
Speaker 1:Yeah. Not to mention if you have family members who, like, don't get along, and then they're fighting over shit. And it's like, oh, god.
Speaker 4:Or just, like, can't do aren't good at that type of thing. You know? Like Yeah. I don't know. Like, that's like that's like that's a a a big enough block.
Speaker 4:Like, some paperwork, like, oh, you have to bring this to the city hall or something. Like, for some people, it's just like that's not gonna happen. And I don't know. I actually have to fill out something.
Speaker 2:Laz, one of the things that you sort of mentioned when you brought this up was, like, not people not knowing your passwords. And I I've heard that is actually maybe the biggest hurdle now in modern times with, like, you know, when someone passes that if you don't have access to their accounts, everything's behind these passwords, then there's just no getting to it.
Speaker 4:Yeah. It
Speaker 2:It's, like, really hard to get and then talk about doing a bunch of paperwork. Like, you know, you have to you have to do an incredible amount of stuff to, like, get a bank to release anything or, like, you know, even if it's just, like, a Gmail account that you wanna look at. Right?
Speaker 3:Yeah. And information.
Speaker 4:And people just won't do it, and, like, I've seen that happen before. I know, I know someone who just they just didn't do it. Like, they could you know, there was, like, bank accounts or something like that, and it was just, like, it was too much. They just didn't do it. And I think, like so I did actually I did actually do a printout a couple years ago when Grace and I went to Barcelona.
Speaker 4:I did do a I I wrote up a long sheet of paper with passwords and websites and, like, all the bank accounts or, like, you know, life insurance. Like, I I did a a one sheet with everything, that everything I could think of at least just just for, like, for the digital world. But, you know, that's obviously still not everything because there's, like, there's more stuff with passwords and all that stuff. And I I think about it with my work sometimes because every single, like, real long term client I have that is, like, they talk about, you know, the the people who are sort of the core clients. I'm the only person they work with really.
Speaker 4:And they every single one of them at some point has been like, oh, you know, the metaphorical bus. Like, what happens if you get hit by the bus? It's like it's like they're all thinking about my death in some way. Because it's like because they would be so fucked. Like so
Speaker 3:it's like yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, man. Yeah. You know, I use a password manager, and
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:I have the password to that. Tiffany has a password to that, but I should probably give, like, my sister the password to that because she's the secondary beneficiary on, like, everything of mine. And so I have to figure that out.
Speaker 2:I've I've started using now inspired by you, Christian. I've started using Google's, password manager
Speaker 1:Great.
Speaker 2:For everything. And Great. But no one has access to that account, so I need to make sure that that Gladys has that.
Speaker 1:What I was thinking yeah. Go ahead, sir.
Speaker 2:To actually, just quickly issue a challenge to all 3 of us to Oh. Start drafting a will before our next recording.
Speaker 1:Oh, boy. Okay. Let me put a calendar item on my on my calendar so that I can, make sure to remember to do that.
Speaker 2:My understanding is that it can be complicated, but there's also a a an easy version that you can at least have as a backup, right, while you're working on the complicated version so that you have something down that at least says, right, you know, some beneficiaries, some information about your whatever, and at least you have that. You know, I don't know if it's a one pager or what, but, like, then you can have something to as a placeholder while you do all the more complicated.
Speaker 4:That's right. I think, like, part of it's gotta be some like, the first thing is, like, research because I would assume you need something, like, with a notary or something at some
Speaker 2:point. So I don't I don't I think that's if you want things really sort of above board, but I think, at least what from what Gladys told me, I think that you can as long as you've prepared something and signed it. Right? Like, that's why I did the post it note. It wasn't just like a joke.
Speaker 2:It was that if there's something with your name and the signature on it,
Speaker 4:and you think
Speaker 2:it's just a scrap of paper, that that counts for some.
Speaker 1:Okay. I mean, I think but, yeah, you you get it notarized. Like, if Yes.
Speaker 2:Yes. Right. If you want
Speaker 1:You guys should get yours notarized, Emilio. Right.
Speaker 2:Just in case that I mean, imagine she may have taken the
Speaker 1:right post. It get that post it notarized.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna definitely I I am gonna take myself up on this challenge, and it never Yeah.
Speaker 4:I just don't wanna hire a yeah. Yeah. I'm just I'm scared of hiring a law like, a lawyer to do anything because I've it's like things are just extremely expensive
Speaker 3:Don't you?
Speaker 1:God. Surely, you must know a lawyer in Massachusetts.
Speaker 4:Well, I mean, I you like, I have a lawyer that
Speaker 3:I Oh,
Speaker 1:but I mean, like, a friend
Speaker 4:or a lawyer. No. I'm not a lawyer. I don't I don't really have know anybody who's actually a lawyer.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a good I have a topic. Not maybe not for today, but sort of around okay. Anyway, that reminds me of something. Well TBA.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I accept your challenge. I mean, like Yeah.
Speaker 4:I'm going to accept your challenge at the degree of doing research first.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4:And I do have my little one pager, but I might try to, like, expand on that a little bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I I I at least wanna have my one pager, but but not my Post it note.
Speaker 4:Mhmm. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. That's wise. And and I like in particular, like okay. So with my password manager, making sure I, you know, I've got that password to my sister and also because it requires, like, the other level of thing. Like, what's your, you know, like a it's like a code or or whatever.
Speaker 1:Like, if you don't have access to the, you know, what do you call it? Authenticator app. Oh, yeah. You can instead use this code. Like, I have to make sure to give that to her, basically.
Speaker 4:Should should we just all tell each other our passwords right now so we all have them?
Speaker 1:Yeah. That's great. That's the that's the move, I think.
Speaker 3:The first.
Speaker 1:Cool. Alright. Good. Alright. I like this.
Speaker 1:Anything else on that topic?
Speaker 4:Yeah. I'm good.
Speaker 1:K. Alright. I'll I'll go next because I went last last time, I guess. So I think I'll I'll Go, man. Go.
Speaker 1:Let Emilia go last. I I have a few topics that I wrote down, and which one is moving me the most right now? I I would like your perspectives, and this is a parenting related topic. I would like your perspectives, and before we start recording, you talked about this a bit, Emilio, on parent friends. So the yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, developing friendships or not with parents sort of in whatever parenting circles you exist. So whether it's school or whether there's some other, you know, for some I mean, for the both of you who are highly religious, church. Yep. And, or, you know, for Emilio, the, Elk's Lodge. I know he's a big one.
Speaker 1:And and for you, Les, that'd be the masons.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Freemason. You can
Speaker 4:do the moose sound if you want.
Speaker 1:No. That's secret. You you really shouldn't, though. No.
Speaker 4:Oh, sorry. Sorry. Yeah.
Speaker 1:For the sake. I mean, this is widely broadcast. So
Speaker 2:Sharing passwords is one thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So, like, so I'm I'm curious you guys thought, and and and here's what sort of come to me now. You you guys know I've I've I've got a 14 month old, 14 and a half month old. And so I'm I'm far from, you know, significant exposure to other parents. Although there is a a group of of parents, or mothers, with whom my wife hangs out because, you know, that's, like, just this really great sort of support network for the things that I think are unique to being a new mother.
Speaker 1:And so they're all around they all have kids around the same age. And and sometimes and so they have, like oh, what do they call it? They call it the mom guild, I wanna say. They have the cute name for it. And then there's, like, dad club or something like that, and it's all the husbands or partners.
Speaker 1:And I've gone to one of those hangs with the dads, and I'm like, you know, this is just not for me. Yep. And I have had these thoughts around the parenting group, I guess, that I think I might most resonate, and that is the sort of future group of parents with whom we'll be interacting, around school stuff. And we're wanting to put my daughter in an international school so that, she can become bilingual, you know, easily. And, you know, my hope is that the other parents who bring their kids there will be some on some spectrum of like minded.
Speaker 1:You know, maybe not perfectly like minded, but, like, you know, these are people who intentionally want to pursue this sort of education for their children. And so I'm like, okay. I'm I'm looking forward to when my daughter is old enough and we can spend time with these parents. However, I was just at the public library, which in my town is a really amazing place. It's a new library that, you know, opened within the past, like, 3 years, I wanna say, 3 to 4 years.
Speaker 1:And it's really special. Really great library, and they have all sorts of kids' stuff there. And I brought Ramona there, recently. And, there are other parents and other kids there, and there's a sort of group of parents, who I happen to overhear their conversations. And they happen to go to the school that I want to have my daughter go to.
Speaker 1:And so I'm hearing them talk about the school, and I'm just hearing them talk in general about things. And immediate first impression, just they suck. Just, you know, like, they were they like, so this is a a Spanish immersion school. Yep. And they're talking about sort of learning Spanish, and I'm hearing them say very stupid things about, you know, oh, god, people's skin tone and the sort of relationship of that to speaking Spanish and, saying some things that to me seem very obvious around sort of, like, different experiences, with speaking Spanish.
Speaker 1:I don't even remember what it was, but it was, like, sort of mildly offensive at least. And, also these were the parents who were, like, really uptight about what their kids were doing, which that doesn't super surprise me because it is a private school crew. But, they were uptight about what their kids were doing running around the library. And I was just like, oh, just like not going to be the group of people who I connect with, when I start growing this parent group of friends, presumably. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I know that's a a long sort of, walk to get to my topic, but I'm just sort of curious kind of, like, where you guys are at with this and, like, what kind of parent friends do you have, if any, and what have been, like, your hits and what have been your misses around this? I'm I'd love to hear it.
Speaker 4:Well, I think Emilio, you should talk first because you just had a birthday party, right, with a whole bunch of adults. Yep. Friends.
Speaker 2:Yep. None of them are parents but one.
Speaker 4:None of them are parents but one. Okay. Yeah. So how the hell did that happen?
Speaker 1:You did mention the one, yeah, earlier, but okay. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So much to say about this. Oh my god. Okay. Yes.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm
Speaker 1:so excited. And you have the oldest child of the 3 of us, so you have the most experience.
Speaker 4:Okay. Wait. Wait.
Speaker 2:So, just
Speaker 1:Go ahead, love. Yeah.
Speaker 4:No. I just wanna say, like, this is, like, the part where it's like, who's gonna hear this? Right?
Speaker 3:Yeah. But,
Speaker 4:anyway, I don't know. I think we should just assume nobody. Right? Or else it's gonna be boring. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah. I mean, I think, like, you know, if you have a concern, temper what you're saying. Mask it in some way. Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I won't say any names
Speaker 1:necessarily. Exactly. Sorry, Bob.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. But you're a dick.
Speaker 1:So Yeah. Bob, you suck.
Speaker 2:Your kid's fine, but
Speaker 1:I can't hang out with you. Your kid's a wiener. Anyway. Alright. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Go, Emilio.
Speaker 2:God. This is so so and also so I think my experience has been, I I've been very conscious of this because we moved to, San we moved to San Diego from Boston when my son was 2. And so that was the time when, like, if I was in Boston, I would be hanging out with my friend group, who some of them have kids, I right. I would've sort of been still in my community, in my circle. But moving here, I didn't know anybody.
Speaker 2:And so the first, like, couple years that we were here, and I guess maybe not even the couple years, but, like, at least the 1st year, I was very actively looking for parent and I was on meetup or whatever it was around at the time. I've I've went to, like there was a one group that was, like, the San Diego nerd parents, and so I met up with them a couple times. We went to the zoo, and we went to some museum, and they were just they were sweet people.
Speaker 3:They're not
Speaker 1:They were nerds.
Speaker 2:They were they were not my vibe. I am I am a proud nerd, but
Speaker 3:these folks
Speaker 2:were, too proud.
Speaker 1:And then there's nerds.
Speaker 2:That's quite bad. I think and I I think if you know nerds, you probably know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:I don't even know nerds.
Speaker 1:Here. It's really cruel that you see it right in front
Speaker 4:of him.
Speaker 3:Like, geez.
Speaker 2:But I never clicked with the nerd parents. I also tried to join the the library parents group, in our at at our, like, local library, which was, as I found out, the library mom's group and dad, Emilio, who you know, I was not working. I was the primary caregiver. Right? I was the stay at home dad.
Speaker 2:I was not welcome in the library mom's group.
Speaker 1:Like, explicitly? Like, somebody said something to you?
Speaker 2:But it was a click. Right? Okay. And and I think that is actually maybe a broader topic about these parent groups, that I've found. So so I sort of missed on all these first attempts, and then I saw it kind of was like, well, I'm just gonna I'm not gonna try so hard.
Speaker 2:And plus, you know, my son was going to be starting school soon. He was in daycare at that point. We you know, once I stopped, being a stay at home dad as much, we put him in a daycare and we met parents through that that were very nice, and we clicked to see them. Some of them are our neighbors now, and we hang with them still. So that's been good.
Speaker 2:So and so the I would say, like, overall, the parents that I've connected with the best are it's happened very organically, and it's never sort of because we are at the school, because we are in this group, because we have this interest. It's just people
Speaker 1:who I like. Just happen to con click with.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah. You're gonna meet you meet a lot of parents.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Wait. Say again? I was
Speaker 4:just saying you meet a lot of parents, like, just in the day to day. You go to parties, you go to, like, events, like sorry. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. And and I've thought about this a lot when when my son first started, like, in his elementary school because I was like, okay. This is like he's gonna be here for 6 years. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm gonna be seeing these parents a lot. I want him to see his friends more. We're just setting up play dates. And, man, I tried, I I mean, I I was, you know, really trying to be social and and I wanted to make friends and trying to connect with his parent friend's parents, and it it it was so often a miss. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Just so often. And even, like, you know and I I think I have more tolerance for this than you probably do, Christian.
Speaker 1:Oh, a 1000%, I'm certain. I'm certain of that.
Speaker 2:So I you know, I even though there were
Speaker 1:I hated these people, and I didn't even interact with
Speaker 3:them. Even talk to them.
Speaker 4:You you flat out refused to talk to them.
Speaker 1:Exactly. They asked me who I was, and I walked away.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah. Is that your daughter? Shut up and get away from me. Yeah. We, but yeah.
Speaker 2:So so I've made a lot of efforts. It it never worked out, and and, like, little by little, I was just like, okay. I'm just gonna, well, what I had to what I had to try to reconcile was if my son is really close to some kid at school and I can't stand their parents, like, they might not get to be friends. Like, if if I need to be able to interact with these people regularly if our if our kids are gonna be close. And I remember talking to some other parents about this at some point.
Speaker 2:I don't remember who it was. Maybe you guys even at some point, but,
Speaker 4:Very likely. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, I just I just I think I've I just finally said that's okay. Right? Like, they can see each other at school, and if if they wanna have a play date, maybe we can do it once in a while, but we're not gonna be besties. But so then I have met lots of parents since then that I've clicked with, and, you know, it's not a huge circle. But, for example, last night, this is just a parent who whose kid went to summer camp with my son, and, and, like, we don't hang out that often, but he's, like, a really great dude.
Speaker 2:And I I was glad to invite I was more wanting to invite his son to hang out with my son, but I was, like, happy that he could be there, and he he's, like, a really good hang. But he was the only other parent that was there. I did invite one other parent, but they couldn't make it. So the but that that maybe that tells you kinda how this has worked.
Speaker 4:Yeah. How about you, Les? Yeah. I don't know. I I, like, I feel I feel kind of the same, Emilia, where I just, like, I feel like I have so many thoughts on this because it's been you know, we we also moved to a new place, where we didn't know anybody, when, you know, it was probably 8 years ago or something like that, 8 or 9 years ago when, the kids were about 2.
Speaker 4:And, it was, you know, we we've tried a bunch, and I I it's kind of the way I've always felt about it. It's like whether you're friends with someone, there's something there's something kind of, like, random and chance and just luck about it. But I think you, like, increase your chances if you have, like, a similar kind of, like, I don't know, like, there's gotta be some cultural thing or some vibe thing, like, who knows what it is, but, like, I think it's just there's there's been a few parents. Basically, like, every now and then I come up we we go to some kids thing, and I come across a parent that I just, like, have a blast talking to. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:And that's awesome. And then, you know, luck if we get lucky, then maybe the kids will be friends, and, you know, it's, like, who knows if the kids are gonna get along? There's a couple parents that we've like, a couple people we've known where, like, the kids we sort of tried to make it work, and for a little while, like, we had, like, a little friend group and we like the parents and the kids played together and then like the kids never actually seemed that interested after a while like they kind of like their friends kind of like moved along and then we kind of you know, it was just kind of a natural thing where it was like, we just didn't see the other parents as much because the kids weren't friends anymore, and so we're still friendly with everybody. But I don't know. It's I have had, like, a very I've I've kind of pushed a lot more than than most parents.
Speaker 4:I know most parents I know sort of already have these kind of I don't know if I'd say clicks, but, like, you know, it's like the town I live in is a small town. A lot of people have been here, and they know everybody. And there's just, like, a certain vibe that, like, the PTA vibe that I'm just not part of in any way. And I I can, like, I'm friendly with with a lot of, you know, a lot of different parents and stuff like that, and I've done some stuff in the community. I've, like, done, like assistant coaching and stuff like that now, and, like, they sort of know people know my kids more than, you know, like, the kids are sort of like a little bit well.
Speaker 4:People will know them, sometimes, but I don't know. It's, like, it's very hard to find people you, like, really kinda just, like, click with and have an easy time. And and I would not say that I have found many people like that. I do think, you know, it's not I do think it's less likely in a in, like, where I am than if I was say, you know, where I grew up or something or or something along those lines. I just think there's a first of all, there's more people, so you'd come across more people in general.
Speaker 4:But also just the vibe is a little bit a little bit different. There's a lot of kind of, like, you know, the guys might get together and, like, do, like, a barbecue without the wives or I don't know. There's just like this there's, like, these different crews, like, oh, we're going, like, off roading or something like that or or not off roading, but, on the ATVs or something like that. And, like, you know, I'm sure, like, I would have fun with stuff like that, but it's just, like, not my world at all. So it's like, it's not something that's I just, like, slide into and and I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 4:Now I'm comfortable. Like, I don't know. I was at this dinner thing and, like, people were passing around this, like, phone with some meme on it. The all these, like, guys at the thing. And I was just like, I do not wanna see what the fuck that is.
Speaker 4:Like, I just I know. If I see that, I'm gonna be so pissed. And I just don't
Speaker 1:hate all these people. Yeah. Like, I don't wanna
Speaker 4:I don't wanna dislike all the people here, so I'm just not gonna see that because as soon as I do,
Speaker 3:I'm gonna be so mad. So Oh, no. Oh,
Speaker 4:man. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know it. No.
Speaker 4:No. I didn't, but I I sort of know what it was. But, like, I I know the I know the
Speaker 1:something that you would hate?
Speaker 4:Oh, yeah. No. It was something I it's just, you know, it's it was it's just and not that that stuff happens all the time. We've had we've had there's some super nice people, especially some of the what I've noticed actually is that the kids that our kids are friends with often I get along with the parents a lot better than, like, the a random parent from, like, some of like, there is, like, some there's some correlation there with, like, the kids that I think are cool and that the kid that my kids get along with, and the parents that we come across that are, like, super chill and cool and stuff like that. So I don't know.
Speaker 4:It's it's a little bit mixed, but
Speaker 2:yeah. I I think in a way, Christian, it it it, for me, has mirrored, like, choosing friends as an adult. Right? It's a thing that, like, you don't get to do as a kid. You don't get to really choose your friends.
Speaker 2:You're just who are they are who they are. You know? Right.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's how we ended up with this this crew. Yeah.
Speaker 3:This crew
Speaker 4:is true. No. Sort of, though. Right? Because you you like, even if you're in the same class or something, like, you know, there's, like, 30 kids or something like that.
Speaker 3:It's true.
Speaker 4:And there's, like, some you gravitate towards certain people, especially over time.
Speaker 1:I was just
Speaker 2:but I think, like, you you have more agency as an as a, like, you know, of plus 30 year old to be a more tricky with your friends. And also if you've moved to a new place, especially, and you have friends from your previous place, like, when I moved here to San Diego, I was like I was like, I don't need to make new friends. I'll make a couple, and that'll be good and, you know, see see where I land. But it what yeah. And I think that yeah.
Speaker 2:It's sort of been like that same thing with friend parents in that, you know, most of them, I am not gonna be friends with, and I'm picky. I'm more picky about it now than I ever was before.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm really curious oh, go ahead, Les.
Speaker 4:Oh, no. I I just I think that's true of every other people too is what I find. Like, I'm like, I don't it's not there it's not an insult if they don't really want to be my friend it's like ever it feels like everybody is kind of like maxed out they're like alright I cannot add another friend to my life like I or another thing like that's and like and I've kinda felt like that too where it's, like, well, I have, like, my, you know, friends from other places, and I wanna stay in touch with them. And, like, so I I get the feeling sometimes that it's, like, even if they're super nice and they would normally be friends, they're, like, I can't add another thing to my, like, list of things to do. Like, you know, do some hangout with some random person I just met.
Speaker 4:It's like, it's just off the menu.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I'm glad with a with a friend here, actually, a new friend who I'm like, oh, we really clicked and damn it. When are we gonna where does this fit in? Because I do not have time for a friend that's not part of my other friend groups. Right?
Speaker 2:You need to be in the other groups doing the things that I'm already doing. Yeah.
Speaker 4:One of the
Speaker 1:things I'm curious about, Emilia, because you mentioned this earlier, which is, like, if you're not or if you can't stand, let's say, the the parent or parents of one of your son's friends
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, that means that your son is just not gonna be best friends with this this other kid. Is that am I am I understanding that right?
Speaker 2:Pretty much. I think there's been a few times like that. And I think that there's a couple sides to that. Right? One is, like, I wanna be able to interact with the parents and and just, like, be social with them if I'm gonna be around them a bunch.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. But the other thing is, like, if I don't get a good feeling from somebody Mhmm. Then there's a good chance that, like, I don't really trust their kid around my kid. Mhmm. And we've had a couple times, and I I maybe I won't say this too loud, but, like, yeah, there have been some some friends that have turned out to not be the best kids, and I didn't get along with the parents.
Speaker 2:And Mhmm. I was like, yeah. This I'm cutting this off because this is not, yeah, good any in any way.
Speaker 1:How how did you do that? How did you cut that off? Was it like Rohan's like, hey. Can I go to this I'm sorry? Your son's like, hey.
Speaker 1:Can I go to this person's place? And, and you're just like, you know, that's not gonna work out. Are you like, well, actually, let me explain to you. So no. It's more like the that's not gonna work out and you just leave it at that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. I think getting too in the weeds. I I mean, then this is more when he was younger, but it it didn't seem like it would have been appropriate to kinda Okay. Get into the social dynamics and all this.
Speaker 2:I mean, there was there was one kid that we talked about who was kind of a bully, and they were friends. And it got to the point where the kid, like, was even bullying Rohan or bullying my son in front of me. Oh. And when that happened, I I, you know, just told his mom, hey. We're not doing this anymore.
Speaker 2:Oh, so you spoke
Speaker 1:to that kid's parent?
Speaker 2:Yeah. I said, look. You this is what he did, and Yeah. That's not acceptable, and we're not gonna be hanging out with you guys now. And that was the end of it.
Speaker 3:Wow. Okay.
Speaker 1:So that's how to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I and I that was one that was a case where I was getting kind of bad vibes, you know, the whole time, and it was a weird you know, that they were they were they were weird and
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But luckily, that hasn't had to happen too much. Usually, you just kinda drift away from the other parent.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I worry about that sort of thing. I you know, because, I mean, I'm gonna have and, you know, I've had this sort of conversation with my wife, and I I will need to work to be more tolerant. But, like, you know, I suspect that there will be situations where I'm not liking how a parent talks to their kid or not liking how a parent talks to my kid or whatever and, like, just sort of feeling, like, I just don't want that at all and having to really sort of fortunately, you know, have a partner who helps me check myself on those sorts of things, but also just kind of, like, I feel certain it will happen. So I guess the main thing, knowing myself, like, you know, and and just sort of like, well, I think there are gonna be a lot of people who I don't want, having any kind of influence over my child.
Speaker 1:So I don't know. It's weird. I don't I I and I don't wanna characterize myself as being too extreme. I feel like I'm a little better around these sorts of things now, but, nonetheless, I I know it's going to happen.
Speaker 4:Well, like, did you have friends when you were growing up that, like, you absolutely now would have been like, oh, I wouldn't I wouldn't have wanted to let, like, let my kid hang out with that person. I mean, you must have, right, had some, like maybe not until you were older. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, no. For me, well, interesting. Yeah. I mean, so, you know, growing up, like, where I grew up in the projects, it was this sort of, like, there are these shared kind of areas, or shared apartments, that, would were you guys you guys both visited my place in in the bricks. Right?
Speaker 1:Yep. And so there's the did you, Laz? Maybe you did.
Speaker 4:Think so, actually.
Speaker 1:No. Maybe not. Doesn't represent
Speaker 4:during the bell.
Speaker 1:But, like, there's, like, a a courtyard, that is surrounded by a bunch of apartment buildings. And, like, that's that unit. And so that's where all the kids who are in those apartments all hang out. And, like, there is this one in particular, brother and sister who were clearly from parents who were awful and, you know, abusive and all these sorts of things. And those kids were, like, bad kids and bad to be around.
Speaker 1:This is when I was, like, maybe 6 and 7, maybe up to 8 or something like that. And, Yeah. I mean, we just hung out with those kids until they moved away because, like, that was, like, how it worked. Just, like, those are the neighborhood kids and those are the ones who year round and, like, that's kind of it. There's another kid who was sort of on the fence as far as, like, is this a good kid or a bad kid?
Speaker 1:He did end up going to prison, so did one of the other kids. Sort of like, you know, I guess I did have those folks in my life who I would not want my children hanging out with. That's for sure. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah. But not so much like your close friends. It was a little more, like, tangential for, like, people just kind of in the area.
Speaker 1:Well, no. I mean, they were I mean, it's like it's the kids in that area. They all hang out together. That's it.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1:So, like yeah. Like yeah. It's like if you're outside, then all the other kids will see you're outside because they can just look out their window and then they come outside. And it's like, that's it. Those are the kids that you spend time with.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So maybe I wonder if I wonder if our parents ever broke off any like, I'm trying to remember if there was like, oh, man. There was this kid I used to hang out with. I loved it so much, and then suddenly we stopped hanging out. And it wasn't because my mom didn't like their dad or something. Like, I'm trying to think if there's any examples of that, but nothing's really coming to mind.
Speaker 4:I know that Richard had basically zero input into Oh,
Speaker 3:man. Into
Speaker 4:Yeah. I was yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I think me too. Like, my parents, like, they just weren't, you know, they weren't tracking that.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Like, my dad was definitely an observer, but not, like there wasn't any, like, interfere. I was I think he kinda he did have opinions, obviously, I think, on different friends, especially, like, you know, getting older and stuff like that. Like, I was not all you know, I did I was I had some issues at different times and stuff like that. And I think it's as a parent, you probably see, like, issues coming up with your kid, and it's pretty easy to look at the friends and be like, that's their influence.
Speaker 4:And sometimes it probably was, you know? Mhmm. But I don't think it's necessarily always a bad thing even if it was, you know, I think, like, eventually, you're gonna push boundaries and and your friends are going to be part of that for sure. Totally. But that's all like older stuff.
Speaker 4:When, when it's younger, there's I think parents do have a lot more control over that and probably should like, you know, and, and can sort of help keep things, I don't know, and make sure their kids' friends are sane at least, and the parents aren't too out there.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. Well, I worry about, like so there was one there was one kid that my son, you know, got along with pretty well. And after spending a few times at their house hanging out with the the mom and the stepdad, I it seemed like the stepdad was, like, an abusive alcoholic. Oh.
Speaker 2:And it was and I was like, well, I'm not sure how much like, I've all I don't know these people that well. I'm not sure how involved I can get here, but I don't think I want my kid going over there anymore. And we just kinda cut that one off too. And and the the sad thing was that the mom would, like, just text us all the time. Like, hey.
Speaker 2:Let's get the kids together. Let's get the kids together. And we'd be like, oh, I can't make it this time. We're like,
Speaker 4:oh, man. Sucks.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And then she did end up leaving the guy.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's good.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And and it seems like she's doing much better now, but we don't really stay in contact.
Speaker 4:Yeah. That's tough. That's you gotta, like I don't know. It's like you gotta think of the do you have to think of the kids first? That's just it's, like, sad if you see that.
Speaker 4:You know? You have nothing can't control it.
Speaker 1:Yeah. See, it's interesting. You know, I think, like, I mean, I even this conversation, like, demonstrates to me that, like, we are significantly more intentional in our decisions around parenting, especially around sort of social stuff in parenting than my parents ever were. Like, just I mean, it's just like we would you know, and this is a generational thing. Right?
Speaker 1:But, like, you know, in my neighborhood, we would just leave and go hang out with the kids who were around, and then we'd be back in a couple hours or so. And, like, that was it. You know? It was like Yeah. Who are we hanging out with?
Speaker 1:What are we doing? I don't know. The only time I got in trouble was because this one time we're hanging out with kids, we, like, spray painted something on a wall. And, that's the that's the only time that I recall really some sort of, like, my dad coming and having to, like, talk to me about something that I was doing with the friends that I had. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Or the other kids, I'll say.
Speaker 2:I think, my my parents, especially my mom, were were pretty involved and and
Speaker 1:Yeah. Your mom would be an exception.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Wanting to know what my friends were. They were the ones coordinating my schedule, meeting friends, or whatever. Like, I remember my my my dad even being, like, these you know, at times, like, these friends are not good because not because, like, they were bad people, but because they he felt like they were taking advantage of me or whatever. This was maybe, you know, in high school or whatever.
Speaker 2:But there were certain people who and I think maybe you guys can guess who.
Speaker 1:Laz. Like yeah. Like that
Speaker 2:it's like Yeah. That guy, Laz, who gives you a ride to soccer every every week. And totally taking advantage of you. Oh, man. But yeah.
Speaker 2:So I think they were pretty, at least when I was younger, pretty, like, active, and I pushed back
Speaker 1:on that a lot. I was like,
Speaker 2:I wanna hang out with these people. Right? Like like, these are my friends.
Speaker 4:These are my friends.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You used you used to talk about
Speaker 1:that. Yeah. Shut up.
Speaker 4:Your your voice changed when you were 19.
Speaker 1:Yes. Exactly.
Speaker 3:Oh, man.
Speaker 2:I don't know how to work. Oh, go ahead, Les.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Oh,
Speaker 4:yeah. Sorry. What were you saying?
Speaker 2:No. No. You go.
Speaker 4:I was just gonna say I the most interesting thing I have to say on this, I feel like I can't say because it's, like, involves people that are in my daily life who, if potentially this was ever, like, put out there, would probably come across it eventually. And that's just how I feel. It's like yeah. So Yeah. Too bad.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, I was just gonna dish offline.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, after we stopped recording. Hop no hot mic.
Speaker 4:No. You just record it and copy it out and cut it out later anyway. But
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 4:But what were were you saying, Emilio?
Speaker 2:I was just I I don't know if we wanna spend too much more time on this stuff, but there's I I also wanted to talk about, like, language school parents a little bit.
Speaker 4:I'd love
Speaker 1:to hear that. Tell me more, please.
Speaker 2:We we visit so we have a there's a language academy close to us, and we visited it for elementary school. We visited a ton of schools to see because we didn't know the school system here when we moved here, so we were like, okay. What's up? We want us to see everything. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:So we visit this once. It's it's really highly regarded, and, man, I want actually, I wonder I I imagine if anyone ever heard this, they would know exactly what school I'm talking about because they're I think they're probably one of them.
Speaker 3:But,
Speaker 2:like, we didn't get a good feeling from it. It seemed like it was very, like, traditional in its curriculum and, and and very, like, I don't know, sort of kinda catering to a certain type of student at a certain type of parent. And so we we know we never end up applying there, but I could totally see the things that you're you're alluding to, Christian, about those types of parents is and and because this is a this school was so, you know, desirable, it was like a I don't know what the process big lottery or whatever to get in, and it was very competitive, and people really took it seriously. And, like, getting in was like getting into Harvard or something. And that that I think that mentality, that approach leads to, like, certain parents and and people having, like, certain attitudes that are not healthy for kids.
Speaker 2:And, and I I'm guessing that's, like, a bit of what you tasted at the library.
Speaker 1:I think you're right, and I think it's like I have to remember that there are some people who are just gonna put their kids there because they think it's the place that will give them an advantage, and it doesn't matter any of the other sort of values of the school or sort of what it means to have a kid who's bilingual or anything like that. Like, they're just like, oh, this is the place that, you know, we go to make it so that this person will grow up and then go be wealthy or something.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:And it's like,
Speaker 4:The first college kind of, like, trial. It's just, like, starting on the right path to going to the yeah. That whole that whole path thing. Yeah. I I've been extremely busy.
Speaker 1:Think about, but, yeah, I mean, I do think about those things, but I don't like what I want is something that's enriching regardless, you know, of kind of what the outcome is. I just want, like, a varied experience, and that's Yeah. Not everybody's motivation.
Speaker 2:Man, I am struggling with this right now. I I wasn't planning to talk about this, and maybe I won't talk about it too much. But our son
Speaker 1:Boy.
Speaker 4:Yeah. That's crazy, though.
Speaker 1:That sucks. That sucks.
Speaker 4:That that's gotta be one of the worst feelings in the world is, like, knowing that, like, you're or even, like, seeing or hearing about, like, we just we've had some incidents with with with my daughter too that were
Speaker 1:So this is what I have to look forward to.
Speaker 3:Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Cool.
Speaker 2:It's just you know, I I mean, you know, I don't know if you guys know the comic Tom Segura, who's he's not for everyone, I think. He just but he has a bit of where one of the lines is like, yeah. Some people just suck. And, like, I should I do try to keep that perspective sometimes that, like, there's just crappy people out there.
Speaker 4:Yeah. No. It's true.
Speaker 2:But I feel like, yeah, it's sort of this feels like more of an institutional level than a personal level, that something should have been done. You know?
Speaker 1:But seriously.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 1:But we should probably wrap up this topic. Sorry.
Speaker 3:I actually I have
Speaker 1:more things that I actually want to dig into around this that you guys brought up as we're going and all that, but, you know, I'll we we can Yeah.
Speaker 4:Mila, you haven't had a chance to do your to do the main thing?
Speaker 1:Yeah. Exactly. So it's
Speaker 2:it's it's your turn. I mean, this is that sort of ended up being my a lot about me.
Speaker 1:I don't think so. No. I that's it. Well, okay. I wanted to in the spotlight.
Speaker 2:I wanted to do a little, actually, a little game Oh. Of sorts. Not exactly a game, but Oh. I so I had so many thoughts before So many ideas. Maybe we could make it into a game.
Speaker 2:We could roast
Speaker 3:a price or something for it.
Speaker 4:You promised us a game. Oh.
Speaker 1:Yep. Yes.
Speaker 2:So I wrote down all these topics. So there are now on my little list, there are, what, like, 9 or 10, 12 things that I thought of. Some of them are silly and small. Some of them are big, you know, hairy topics. K.
Speaker 2:And so my thought was I wanted to share this list with you guys, and then rather than me picking a topic, we could sort of see, okay, what should these sound interesting to us to discuss? It feels a little more organic that way, and also maybe it is relevant to the conversation that we've already had versus just going in a completely different direction.
Speaker 1:Okay. Or maybe not. Whatever whatever you like, Emilia.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I'm gonna do that. So you're gonna Yeah. Go to our group chat.
Speaker 1:Okay. Alright.
Speaker 2:There I mean, it's in the document that's already shared with you, the critical space theory, in the file section. You know?
Speaker 1:Yep. Got it.
Speaker 2:So I just wrote topics.
Speaker 1:Topics. Okay.
Speaker 4:Oh, boy.
Speaker 1:Oh, god. Yeah. Let's save the let's save the h x pod 1 because I have a topic that overlaps with that. Okay. That I I didn't go into today, but I I I let's save on that one.
Speaker 1:Yep. On last week
Speaker 4:How do I get to this thing? Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it.
Speaker 2:If you go to the chat
Speaker 4:I got I think I found it. Yeah. Critical spot. Okay.
Speaker 2:Little file.
Speaker 3:Okay. I got it.
Speaker 4:I got it.
Speaker 1:Okay. Let's see here. Let's not say I guess I'm not gonna say any of the other ones out loud until I I have one that I wanna talk about because it feels like that might be ruining a surprise in the future
Speaker 2:or something. Yeah. Exactly. We could always come back to these. Although, I will say number 2 is very relevant to what we've been talking about in in a certain way.
Speaker 1:Interesting. Okay. Number 4 is ridiculous. I guess we should say that's I
Speaker 3:or or maybe
Speaker 4:Obama have the same voice.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Exactly. I'm like, what?
Speaker 2:Okay. Let me show you.
Speaker 3:Maybe. No. Okay.
Speaker 4:Alright. I don't think I could be sold on that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I'm not sure that I can
Speaker 4:be be clear.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh. I want you to know, as
Speaker 3:Bernie Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:1% of this voice is actually Barack Obama. When you take out your New York accent,
Speaker 3:it becomes Barack.
Speaker 1:My name is Barack, and I think that this is a poor comparison.
Speaker 2:I would also like to be clear that this is Bernie Sanders.
Speaker 3:God. Alright. Let's stop. No more. That was
Speaker 2:that was really just a a a way of a lead in for me to do the Bernie exit. That's great. Right?
Speaker 3:Mission accomplished.
Speaker 2:Yep. I did it.
Speaker 1:Okay. I like I like number 5, chino pants and finding your grown up fit. I have a lot of thoughts about, you know and if you mean grown up fit and maybe sort of more broadly grown up look
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 1:I I have a lot of thoughts about that.
Speaker 2:I I Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So that one that one appeals to me. Laz, how about you?
Speaker 4:Yeah. I just today, when I was putting my jeans on, they had a small rip, and I put my toe through it. And now they this is I only have really 2 pairs of pants, and I just shredded Yeah. One of them. Yeah.
Speaker 4:So Yep. I think discussing Chino pants because I'm gonna need a pair of pants real soon.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You needed a pair of pants yesterday. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Once I have on are comically oversized. So, anyway, Chino pants.
Speaker 2:I think
Speaker 1:you've got I've got I think we've got the topic, Emilio. Well,
Speaker 2:I just I, as a 41, 42 year old adult male, just discovered Chino pants. Okay. And I know I must be extremely late to that party.
Speaker 1:But Maybe you could describe which chino
Speaker 4:pants are. Yet. So
Speaker 2:Yeah. So they're just a a a pants that are sort of in between a jean and a khaki, I would say. It's like a lighter material, thinner material, and the cut is, it's sort of loose, but not, like, baggy like jeans, and it's sort of not formal, like the way khakis look or dress pants. So I guess, like, I don't know if you can imagine, like, I don't know, like a mechanic or like a, someone in the trades industry who doesn't wear jeans.
Speaker 1:Are they like car
Speaker 4:hearts? The word dungarees.
Speaker 1:Car hearts.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Car hearts.
Speaker 1:Why don't
Speaker 2:we just look let's let me just show you a
Speaker 1:I'm looking I'm looking at pictures of them, and I Yeah. I've always sort of I've always felt negatively about Chinos, I'll have to say. Okay.
Speaker 2:So you but you've you know what they are?
Speaker 1:Yeah. But I think, like, I've only envisioned a certain cut of Chinos, which has evolved over time, since I last had a thought about Chinos. Uh-huh. I look at these Chinos. A lot of these Chinos I'm seeing, and I'm like, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:They come in multiple cuts, and some of these cuts would probably be great.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It does seem like they're pretty versatile, and that's that's been so I I've I hate wearing jeans. And, generally, because I'm in San Diego, I wear shorts all the time. Cargo shorts, the best shorts. Oh, jeez.
Speaker 2:Oh,
Speaker 1:we're starting from square 1, aren't we? Okay.
Speaker 2:But Got it. This is also, like, right, this is part of my, like, evolution into a grown up is, like, I I'm starting to find, like, oh, there's a look for me that I've never sort of explored before, which is, like, a little bit more dressed up, but not formal. And and I just, like for some reason, like, I tried a pair of chinos, like, a week or 2 ago, and I was like, oh, shit. This is the, like, piece that I've been missing for, like to to kind of create this new look of myself, which is, like, looking like a grown up. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Or what I think of as a grown up. My, you know, my look is is like shorts and a hoodie or, like, jeans and a hoodie. And so, like, it's it's never changed. It's been the same since high school. I still have hoodies from high school.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. And even, like, you know, all the jobs I've had since then, I've always had this, like, awkward, you know, whether it was wearing, like, khakis and a button up or, you know, suit pants or jeans, depending on the formality of the job. I just never felt comfortable. I never felt like I'd look good. I always felt like I was wearing, like, the wrong clothes.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so these chinos have been amazing. They're like I can wear them to work. They can look formal. I can wear them with, like, a sweater or a hoodie, and that's fine. I wore them last night to my birthday party because I'm going out, and they are very comfortable and, like, geez.
Speaker 1:And everyone was like, Emilio, nice pants.
Speaker 2:Yeah. They're like, you look good, man. Damn.
Speaker 3:Alright. Alright.
Speaker 1:Good. That number. Let me touch the fabric on your pants.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, I think, like, I so that's that's just became a thing that I'm now all of a sudden interested in, which is, like, how do I want to present myself as an adult visually?
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I would say
Speaker 1:think about this a lot. You go first, Les.
Speaker 4:Yeah. No. I just I've I've also been thinking about it, and I think I may have even mentioned this to you guys before, but I like, I'm realizing that the jeans that I generally wear are always like, have are restrictive in my movement. And I think, Christian, you've always had a pretty good like, in general, the clothes you get, because you, like, sit in funny positions and are are generally stretchy. So, like, what I'm realizing is, like, between like, my general like, not really intentionally.
Speaker 4:I have ended up, I'm, like, stiff in the hips and stuff. And I I had Yeah. I had knee pain. And they said, you know, I went to physical therapy. And they said, yeah.
Speaker 4:It's all in your hips. Like, your hips are weak. And part of it is because I wear these kind of restrictive jeans, and I didn't really realize that. But if I try to, like, lift my leg high, it just blocks it a little bit. Like, it just there's a resistance to it.
Speaker 4:Mhmm. And so I just for the last, like, 6 months, I've been trying to figure out, okay, Like, I actually have changed the the in general, I wore a lot more shorts over the summer, and I've just have been wearing stuff that I can move around in better because I didn't realize that what I'm actually doing by restricting the motion is, like, making those muscles weaker. And so my hips and all the area, like, around there and also, like, I haven't worn shoes that I had to tie in probably 15 years. Like, I just step I step into my shoes. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Like Like,
Speaker 1:you wear, like, loafers or
Speaker 4:I just whatever shoe I get, the number one is that I don't have to bend down to put them on. So whatever shoe it is, I'll I'll wear I'll wear any shoe as long as I can put it on without tying it. No Velcro, no tieing. I need it. I slip my feet into it, and that's true of my boots, any shoes.
Speaker 4:So I haven't been bending down, and I haven't, like, been stretching my legs. And so, like, yeah. I've got, like, mobility. It's like, I need to, like, stretch, and I need to, like, move around and all this kind of stuff. So I think I've been looking at, like, there was another brand of jeans that somebody, like, was talking about that I have it, like, in my cart for a while, but I, like, I can't pull the trigger on buying clothes online because pants are such like a you can't, like, wear the wrong size pants.
Speaker 4:Like, you just I just would never wear them if they didn't, like, fit nicely. So, like, there's no point in buying it. So I'm very skeptical of buying anything online, and I haven't, you know, been out to actually buy something yet. But I'd like I think about it a lot because I think that it's like a basic mobility thing actually at my age and, like, my lifestyle. Like, I need to have something that is flexible, and I need to, like, flex in it.
Speaker 4:I need to, like, do things, like, you know, like, I've been walking more and doing kind of more active stuff. But I think that, like, actually, the pants have made it are gonna make a difference in general.
Speaker 1:God. That's fascinating. I've never thought about sort of, like, you know, sort of long term impairments that could occur based on certain Well well, that's like, clothing decisions.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:I mean, just just think of, like, the the, what's it called? What what's that show? King of the hill. Like, this is
Speaker 3:like Yes.
Speaker 4:Like, everybody everybody who has those thick jeans
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:You can't they can't bend down. You like, the result of those, like, thick stiff jeans is, like, you lose mobility and, like, I think you just, like, get, like, a big belly because you have to, like, keep it, like, dying
Speaker 3:on it. Like Yeah. I feel
Speaker 4:like there's, like, there's some correlation there, and I'm I'm more convinced of it now than ever.
Speaker 1:That is fascinating.
Speaker 2:That is really interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I I mean, man, Lads, I need to introduce you to the, to the front door step stool, I think, because, my god, game changer. We have a 3 legged stool that, you know, this is a totally my wife's thing, but I need it now.
Speaker 2:I I I sit down on this thing every day, and I put on my shoes, And it's, like, the easiest thing in the world.
Speaker 4:Why put on your shoes when you could just step into them? That's that's I don't understand why so many people are tying their shoes like it's the 1900.
Speaker 1:God. This is so funny. So alright. So here's what what where I've been going with this sort of thought, in recent years, I'll say, is, you know, like, I'm like, my stomach is chubbier. Like, there's just like, I'm just like, the I'm I'm still a thin guy, I would say, but, like, you know, I'm not as thin as I used to be.
Speaker 1:And my look, as you guys probably recall, is like a small t shirt and like pants that fit, you know, relatively tight, but like they're comfortable. They're comfortable. They're usually sort of like yeah. Stretchy kind of, you know, even if they're jeans, they have sort of a stretch to them. And, you know, as I've aged and my body has changed, I you know, I noticed that, like, in particular, like, the t shirts don't, like, look as good on me.
Speaker 1:And also, like, the pants, like, you know, like, there's the it's not an overhang. Right? But, like, you know, there's a muffin topping type situation happening.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I'm I'm I'm right there with you.
Speaker 1:Okay. Great. And, I'm sort of like, okay. This is this look, either I have to wear larger t shirts, which will be unflattering in other ways for me, or, like, I might just have to develop a more mature look, for myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Like, throw in a scarf.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, what the the main thing that and this is all you know, fortunately, my wife is somebody who thinks about clothing and fashion and looks and stuff like that. And not in an oppressive way, but just in a sort of, like, you know, she has a cool, unique style and, like, she has a great lens for this sort of thing.
Speaker 4:Definitely.
Speaker 1:And so, yeah. And so the first thing that she sort of has helped me toward is card is the cardigan. The cardigan really I tell you though, and they're nice they're like cool cardigans that are out there, and they can tie sort of they they they hide a little bit, you know, that you maybe want hidden. They give a little bit of breathing room there. And also, like, you know, they can kind of tie a look together.
Speaker 1:They're they're sort of an accessory that's functional and that they can keep you warm, but they also look kinda they can look cool. And so I've enjoyed that. But that just feels kind of like a stepping stone, where it's like, I need to actually sort of, like, really be revamping and probably it's, like, painful to think about but probably not wear T shirts all the time. And so it's like, okay. Well, what kind of, like, button shirt style could I do or, like, semi buttoned, you know, like, something like that or anyway.
Speaker 1:So I continue to sort of think about this, and I I have I've I I have a fantasy of sort of, like, just buying a bunch of different shirts and, like, having and just being able to wear those and not having to wear t shirts anymore. Yeah. But it's it's interesting. I'm thinking about it, and the pants, I feel like I have pants down. It's fine.
Speaker 1:But, it's the it's the upper half of my body that I find myself thinking a lot about.
Speaker 2:I've I've never been able to find t shirts that fit me well because I'm I'm I'm pretty tall, and I have big shoulders. But, you know, I have a little bit of a gut as well, but, like, a lot of the so the shirts that fit my shoulders are usually 2 XL, but they tend to be really wide at the bottom like a bell.
Speaker 4:Mhmm. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so it just looks shapeless and horrible. And then if I wear a regular XL, it's really snug up top around my chest and shoulders, and maybe it fits my stomach a little better, but it's like it looks terrible, above. And so I've, in the last year, discovered, just a particular brand, no name brand of t shirts. It's not any company. It's just like it's the it's actually the t shirts that are, usually the stock t shirts for, like, certain things, like, if you're getting a logo on a shirt or whatever.
Speaker 2:This is one of the companies that makes those shirts. It just happened that this company's 2 x fits me, like, perfectly. Mhmm. And so it's it's I I don't know if it's just my body works for this or what, but, like, I what I did was I bought 20 of those in different colors.
Speaker 1:Good for you. That's how you do it.
Speaker 4:That's all I
Speaker 2:wear, and they don't have anything on them. They're pure like, they're just solid colors. It's it's really boring. They don't have, you know, there's no you know, I I love, Christian, your collection of t shirts that are fun and interesting and have, like, art on them and such. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And I don't have any of that, but they fit great, and I love them. And I don't wear anything else, and I won't touch another t shirt. And and I tend to wear a t shirt under a hoodie or a sweater, which is usually what I wear, you know, going out.
Speaker 1:See, I've come to find that my work clothes are actually they're they're much more interesting these days than what I wear outside of work, where I have, like, certain certain, like, clothing brands, and, like, I know, like, this size and this cut of button shirt and this brand fits me the right way. And also this brand offers, like, cool and interesting patterns that allow me to be sort of more individualistic with, like, what I'm wearing at work. And then I know that, like, this brand of pants in this exact size, in this exact cut fits me comfortably and, like, looks good. And so I just do that. And Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's really helped with, like, work, and I feel like I have that covered. But, like, I wouldn't dress in those clothes outside of work, and so it's like I have this kind of, like, this the the casual wear piece that I'm still, like, navigating or transitioning through, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's, man. I I mean, you guys, this this conversation today has been so middle aged.
Speaker 4:So true. We've talked about. Parenting and pants. Yep.
Speaker 2:Oh my god.
Speaker 4:Yeah. That's true. Parenting and pants.
Speaker 3:Oh my god.
Speaker 2:Just renamed the pod.
Speaker 3:I mean, that's what it is. Man.
Speaker 4:Well, we did video games last time. So I
Speaker 2:know. Yeah.
Speaker 4:We knew that balances a little bit. Yeah. Those those are middle aged games.
Speaker 3:Yeah. The youth. Yeah. We don't know
Speaker 2:how to feel about the youth.
Speaker 4:We don't know
Speaker 1:what they like. I do have to say, though, I enjoy the act of lacing up my shoes. And I will I I'll I'll add this. I have this, like, extremely nice pair of, like, shoes slash their leather boots. Basically, they're not they're just really nice shoes.
Speaker 1:Right? That my mother-in-law gave me. And I looked up, like, how much they're worth. They're, like, several $100. It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1:They're handmade, blah blah blah, and they're lace shoes. And, like, I wear them only to work and they are, like, there's just this this again, a sort of ritualistic set type thing where it's, like, I lace them up in the morning and I have a particular way that I lace my shoes. And, like, I just really enjoy that sort of experience of, like, I'm sitting down, I'm lacing up these, you know, whatever I need to lace up on them, and it's just, like, a nice experience that I I have pride in the shoes and, like, this sort of thing. And so
Speaker 4:it's That's
Speaker 1:I don't know. I really like it.
Speaker 4:But that's not every time. Right? That's like you put those shoes on for a certain thing. Like, it's like
Speaker 1:Well, I wear them more than any other pair of shoes because they're 8 hours a day, you know, 9 hours a day every workday.
Speaker 4:Oh, okay. Okay. So it is like an everyday thing. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4:I mean, that's right. There are things like that that I do, but I will say it. Tying shoes has never been
Speaker 1:is not one of them.
Speaker 2:I can't imagine, Laz. I I hate when my shoes are loose on my feet.
Speaker 1:Oh, same here.
Speaker 2:I hate I hate when my socks my ankles. My socks start to slip down and I go crazy. I I hate when there's, like if there's a pebble in my and anything, like, off with my feet and shoes, like, I have to address it immediately. Agree.
Speaker 4:Yeah. But you don't like so, like, I don't I don't like my shoes being loose either. So it's, like, the trick is to find the absolute perfect size. And I I have just I return because Grace keeps buying me shoes, and I'm just, like, I'll try to put my foot in and it won't fit right away. I'm, like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4:We gotta take them back.
Speaker 1:Oh my god.
Speaker 4:It's, like so the trick is to find, like, just the right size opening because if it's too big, it's gonna be loose and you're gonna fall off. If it's too small, then you can't get them on. So it's just a, you know, it's a process, and you gotta you gotta try on a lot of shoes to get it right.
Speaker 2:This is so strange to me that I feel like you're doing a bit, and I don't think you are.
Speaker 4:Hey. I'm definitely not doing them.
Speaker 3:I know.
Speaker 4:But Most of my shoe life revolves around. So let me see. I'll take off my shoe. Let me see what my shoes are right now.
Speaker 1:It's just like in the chat earlier today where it's like essentialist Laz. Laz wants to
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Have, like, exactly what is needed on a thing and no more and no less. Yeah.
Speaker 4:They are. So I have Sketcher. They even they're even called slip ins. And they have There
Speaker 1:you go. Right.
Speaker 4:They have this, like, this, like, edge on one side that just, like, lets your foot slide in. Hands free. So these these ones were probably this is the only time I've actually gotten specific shoes that said that. Yeah. But, yeah, I'm I'm always on the lookout.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean Man. You should buy that shoe in every color and have them forever. Hey, man.
Speaker 4:Well, but then that's kinda boring.
Speaker 2:Think about it.
Speaker 4:Well, but so so but I do this with any shoe and what you can do is I tie them once at the perfect distance. So, like, you can still slip your foot. So, like, I have work shoes, but I just tie them one time in, like, a nice double knot and then slip them on from then on.
Speaker 1:Man, that's so funny. I mean, this is a, like, a conversation now about, like, what kind of shoe you like. Like, this boot that I have, I think and the the the brand is, Viburg or Viburg. I don't know how it's pronounced, but they're, like, British or whatever. And, like, the boot is, like, heavy.
Speaker 1:It's, like, thick leather leather. This is suede in this case, but it's heavy. And, like, I just love the feel of them, like, when I tightly sort of lace them up to you know, because they are a boot, so they go, you know, to just above my ankle is really where they are. And, man, I just really enjoy the feeling of them, like, in the feeling of my feet locked into them, you know.
Speaker 2:It's getting kinda sexual here.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, I'm feeling kinda sexual describing it, I have to say. I'm glad that I'm I'm glad that I'm conveying this accurately.
Speaker 2:Hey. I I want the 2 of you to acknowledge your privilege as normal sized feet people.
Speaker 3:Oh, Emilia.
Speaker 1:You poor guy. What size are you again?
Speaker 2:I'm a size 15.
Speaker 3:Oh my god.
Speaker 2:You know, for most of my life, I have not had the luxury of actually selecting a pair of shoes because I like them. Yeah. But but but instead, going to the shoe store and saying, what do you got in the 15 and taking the 2 pairs that they offer
Speaker 3:me. Oh.
Speaker 2:Least lately, that that problem has gotten a lot better. With the Internet and online stuff. Zappos and whatever sponsor of Zappos, they they've gotten that that problem has been mitigated somewhat, but it's still a limited selection.
Speaker 1:Oh, man. Yeah. I I I am acknowledging my privilege. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Same here. Pretty much every shoe fits me.
Speaker 1:I've got debut. What size shoe are you, Les?
Speaker 4:Probably an 11.
Speaker 1:Okay. Yeah. And I'm a 10, like, the average shoe. Yep. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Same. I'd be, like, 10 and a half, 11 depending on what which brand it is.
Speaker 2:When I when I talk to people in that size, the only issue they ever have is, like, well, that shoe sold out in that size because everybody wears that size.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. Right. That's that does happen sometimes. Man, I I know people who slip on their shoes when they're not exactly slip on shoes, and they just, like, ruin them.
Speaker 2:Just grind their foot into their heel.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Exactly. I'm like, no way.
Speaker 1:I want my boot to keep its shape. Oh, man. I love those shoes so much. I
Speaker 4:love that.
Speaker 3:I really do. They're so great.
Speaker 1:I also have a a pair of, what are they? Blundstone? Blund. And that's, like, that's a shoe that doesn't have laces and it's you do you can't slip it on. You have to kinda pull it on, but, so comfortable.
Speaker 1:Between those, the happy man.
Speaker 2:That's awesome.
Speaker 3:Happy man. I think
Speaker 1:we've exhausted this particular
Speaker 4:time. Yeah.
Speaker 1:That was great. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Hey.
Speaker 1:Do we have any other do we have any final thoughts?
Speaker 2:Man. No. I think yeah. I don't know.
Speaker 4:I think I'm good.
Speaker 2:I'm very tired all of a sudden.
Speaker 1:Yeah. That's good. I think I'm good too. Alright. Well, it's always a pleasure speaking to you, gentlemen.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Word. Thanks for tuning in to Badau. Badau. Wait.
Speaker 3:Badau. Space theory.
Speaker 2:Space theory. About middle aged men.
Speaker 1:Wills, parenting, and, and being too cute for your clothes.
Speaker 3:Too damn.
Speaker 4:And a slowly growing belly. Oh, wait. I have one final thought on that. Oh, okay. We took a family picture, and, you know, I'm also getting a little larger around the middle.
Speaker 4:But we took a family picture at the airport, and I just looked at it. It was like I was, like, 50 to 60% of our silhouette. Like, it was just, like, like, you know, it it was a full body picture. So, like, you know, like, I'm relatively tall compared to, like, you know, Grace and the to the 2 kids and stuff. But it was just like I was like, man, I think I'm getting bigger.
Speaker 4:I am filling up a lot of this frame right now.
Speaker 3:Oh, no.
Speaker 1:Yeah. It's it's I mean, we are middle aged now. It is happening. And It's the best. That means that means that your fat, Laz.
Speaker 2:I'm getting fat.
Speaker 3:That means I'm just getting fat. You're fat now. Oh, great. Alright.
Speaker 1:Well, hey. Have a great great night, everybody. Yeah.
Speaker 4:Thank you, guys.
Speaker 3:Good night.
Speaker 4:See you. Bye. Bye. Bye.
